钟婧
課堂上,“我”突然感到头晕目眩、呼吸困难,好像就要死去一般。“我”向“我”的老师求救,但是老师竟然没有叫救护车,而是让“我”冷静下来……
One day, I was in class, feeling fine, when all of a sudden my heart started racing. I broke out in a sweat, feeling hot and cold all over. My chest hurt, and I felt dizzy. It seemed that I couldnt breathe at all. Everything went blurry (模糊的) around the edges. Sure, I was about to faint. I jerked up (猛地起来) from my desk and ran out from the classroom, terrified. I didnt care what the teacher thought, or that the eyes of the entire class were on me. I just had to get out of there.
I ran to the nearest water fountain and drank some water. For several minutes, I just stood there holding on to the fountain. What was happening? Was I having a heart attack? Slowly, the lightheadedness (头晕) went away. My heart stopped racing, and every other symptom faded too. I still had no idea what had happened, but I was so glad that it was over.
Still, I was really worried. Id never felt that bad in my life. What was wrong with me? What if it came back?
And then, an hour later, it did the pounding heart and the dizziness, the feeling that I was dying. Once again, I couldnt breathe. And this time, there was also pain throughout my entire upper body. I burst into tears and ran to the hallway again, actually afraid of my life. Miss Smith ran after me asking what was wrong. Panicking, I managed to choke out, “I need an ambulance... Please... I was sure I was dying.”
To my surprise, though, Miss Smith didnt grab her phone for help. Instead, she put her hand on my arm and told me to slow down. “Breathe,” she said, “and youre going to be okay. You just need to calm down.” I felt like I was going crazy. Here I was totally losing it, and she was acting like nothing was wrong!
Useful sentence patterns
1. One day, I was in class, feeling fine, when all of a sudden my heart started racing.
分析:feeling fine是Ving分词短语作状语的用法,表示伴随的状态。语境为“有一天,我正在上课,感觉良好,突然我的心开始狂跳”。
2. I jerked up from my desk and ran out from the classroom, terrified.
分析:terrified是形容词作状语的用法,表示伴随的状态。语境为“我从桌子上猛地起来,跑出了教室,感到很惊恐”。
阅读上面的文章,根据所给情节进行续写,使之构成一个完整的故事。
注意:
1. 所续写短文的词数应为150左右;
2. 续写部分分为两段,每段的开头语已为你写好。
Paragraph 1:
She kept on trying to calm me down, but I wasnt ready to listen.
Paragraph 2:
When I realized that she really did understand my anxiety, I felt so relieved.
写作导引
一、语篇研读
读后续写要求续写的部分在情节和逻辑方面与原文高度契合。为此,我们必须在掌握原文大意和叙述意图的基础上,分析所给文章的情境模式。
分析记叙文的情境模式,就需要关注5个W,即who、what、when、where,以及why。我们在阅读时要把握故事的情节线,分析故事的起因、开始和发展,并归纳出故事的主要矛盾。根据文章中已知的信息,如情感线索、行为线索、时间线索、空间线索等来推断将要发生的事情,合理构思续写部分的情节。
二、情节构思
基于原文和续写段落首句提供的信息,采用围绕中心提问的方法,构思要续写的故事情节,这个过程一般分为四步。
第一步,根据已给出的文本判断文章的立意。
有一天,“我”在上课时,感觉良好,突然心跳加速,頭晕目眩,呼吸困难。“我”立即跑出教室喝水缓解症状,但没过多久,“我”又经历了一次这种痛苦,好像就要死去一般。这时“我”向老师求救,但她竟然没叫救护车,只是让“我”冷静下来,表现得像没事的样子。结合文章标题和续写第二段所给出的段首句,我们可以推断出作者可能患有焦虑症,然后可以得出本文的主旨是如何帮助焦虑症患者解决心理问题。
第二步,根据续写第二段所给出的段首句倒推续写第一段应包括什么内容。
根据“当‘我’意识到她真的理解‘我’的焦虑时,‘我’如释重负。”可知,续写第一段要写老师如何让作者冷静下来,并使作者从心底接受她的指导和帮助,这样才能确保续写的两段是相衔接的。
第三步,围绕续写第一段所给出的段首句,以及上面的分析进行提问:
1. How did I feel when Miss Smith didnt call the ambulance?
2. What did Miss Smith do or say to calm me down?
3. After her explanation, how did I feel?
第四步,围绕续写第二段所给出的段首句进行提问:
1. What caused my anxiety?
2. What did Miss Smith do to help me deal with my anxiety?
3. Did I successfully get rid of the anxiety in the end?
三、润色成篇
在续写的过程中要注意情节连贯、各部分内容相衔接,即:1. 两段的续写与所给短文的衔接;2. 每段的续写与续写段段首句之间的衔接;3. 续写的两段之间的衔接。
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